Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Da Vinci Code No Match For Da Stinki Code

Attn:Publishers And Producers -
Subject: Query And Storyline for Book/Movie - The Da Stinki Code: Bloodline Of Blood Drinkers
Since the following is fiction based on facts which cannot be verified as in the Da Vinci Code, no one should be offended. A large number of readers should be captured by the convoluted maze of intertwining falsehoods which are used as the basis for Da Stinki Code. However, I do not mind if Da Vinci codaholics actually believe many, if not all, of these prevarications. Its only fiction.

Story Outline For Da Stinki Code

About six thousand years ago, after Adam had fallen from grace, he felt so ashamed for failing God that he cut himself in order to offer some sort of propitiation for his Original Sin - according to the Pseudepigrapha - which is just as trustworthy as any History Channel documentary. Subsequently, it entered the imagination of man that if blood is good for God, then blood might be good for man - to drink. "The life of the flesh is in the blood."

Abel, whose blood is still crying out, sacrificed a lamb . . . a prototype of Something else. Cain killed Abel, drank his blood, and fathered a lineage of blood-drinkers/homosexuals who now control Hollywood, the publishing industry, Television, academia, liberal synagogues (and churches), lawyer associations, advertising, banking, the medical profession and Mike Wallace.

Of course, we know from the Protocols Of Zion that the Jews, despite Biblical condemnation, loved to drink blood, but how did this abominable imbibing become popular among so many other cultures in so many other lands? Few historians will admit that after the Diaspora, the Jews - God's formerly chosen people who were dispersed throughout the world because of their idolatrous blood drinking - ingeniously managed to introduce the Red Gold business to such far flung peoples as the Transylvanians, the Aztecs, the Celts, Aleister Crowley and even Hal David. Incidentally, Hal David could not have written one Seinfeld episode without taking a few chugs of the red stuff.

If anyone is interested in seeing a more detailed outline of Da Stinki Code: Bloodline Of Blood Drinkers, please, call me at 1-800-DAV-DUKE. There are so many twists and turns to the storyline that even Zen Buddhists could not have imagined a more incredible, inexplicable, nonsensical, or baseless plot.

[Editor's Note: I must remind my potential publishers and producers of Da Stinki Code that this book is just fiction based on facts which cannot be verified as in the ever popular Da Vinci Code. Therefore, if anyone finds this offensive, just tell them, "Its only entertainment," or "Its just fiction.]

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