Friday, October 29, 2010

Perfect Guest List For Smirking Cursing Jon Stewart/Colbert Non Political Rally

In many respects, the combined rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear on Saturday will be very much an anti Beck ,or anti Restoring Honor event. Stewart and Colbert will convene to do what they do best - mock everything good about the United States. This will be the Democratic Left's last, best chance. Beck held his rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial featuring prayers, religious and patriotic singing, and a fervent desire to preserve a very ailing America. Stewart and Colbert will provide low-brow, simpleton sarcasm and a whole lot of smirking and cursing - if the show resembles in any way Jon Stewart's Comedy Central Daily Show.

I'm not sure if the duo will be able to suppress their frequent sprinkling of Fbombs, that emanate even from Catholic Bible teacher Stephen Colbert's dirty mouth. On the other hand, liberal Jewish Jon Stewart is probably loose enough to be serving as a Reformed Jewish Cantor.

So, expect a lot of irreverence for God, man, and country, but a great deal of homage from Oprah Winfrey and Arianna Huffington who are sponsoring bus trips to the rally.

One thing about a satirist, they can lie about everything - at home as well as on the stage - and claim that they're just being funny. One of Stewart's least funny lines is "this is not a political event." That line alone will be able to draw tens of thousands college students away from their normal college weekends, which consist of binge drinking, smoking weed, hooking up (fornicating), and other forms of deep depravity. Its probably better to rather party now in lieu of going on Spring Break early next year, considering all those Mexican travel warnings issued from vacation and resort areas by our neighbors down Mexico way. The dumb kids may lose their mind over Stewart and Colbert, but worse, could be decapitated in Acapulco.

High on the guest list should be Rob Reiner, the Meathead, who is now being criticized by the Jewish Anti Defamation League for his comparing the Tea Party to Nazis on the Bill Maher Show. Bill Maher should also speak at the rally if only for his widely known detestation of God and all things religious.

Comedian Kathy Griffin,who pronounced the words, "S_ck It Jesus," while receiving an award,is also a prime canditate to guide the wayward American 12 year old to 30 year old demographic at the Stewart/Colbert stupidfest. As a baby boomer, I laughed at stupid things like Steve Martin singing his one hit wonder King Tut, or sticking an arrow through his head, or describing "fur lined sinks," or imitating wild and crazy Russian guys, but my generation's stupid comedians did not have to rely on a plethora of Fbombs, GD-its, and other four letter words. Nothing like a four letter word in your comedy act to get the people whipped up enough to follow your act to Washington, D.C.

Whoopi Godlberg would be an outstanding addition to the Restore Sanity/Fear Rally by inspiring all the hot coeds - that having six, (or was it seven) abortions is something to be proud of. Whoopi's sidekick, Joy Behar could provide some inspirational words like she did this past week when she told Sharon Angle to "Go to hell, Bioche." [Behar actually used the word "bitch."]

If someone could wheel David Letterman up on stage, I think he could provide a wealth of advice from his perspective as a dilapidated, lib comedian. Colbert and Stewart should take warning, that they are both on their way to becoming a David Letterman. Frightening, isn't it?

Ed Schultz, Joe Scarborough, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow should be shoe-ins as keynote speakers at the event, but Keith Olbermann may be even too scary for a bunch of socialist-leaning young Democrats.

Since gayness is still such a huge cause celeb, expect respresentatives of the GLBTQ ("Q" is for questioning, in case your 5 year old has doubts about his/her sexuality) community to be OUT there in force. I expect Ellen DeGeneres, and that so-proud-of-her-lesbianism Glee teacher to be pontificating how children of Tea Partiers are bullying their grade school classmates, as if straight kids are never bullied. This would also be a perfect time for a gay judge to postulate the reasons why the U.S. Armed Forces should welcome gay members into foxholes.

That's my best guess guest list, what's yours?